Thursday, November 12, 2009

getting the garbage out

*photos by Elaine A. Russell

...the sky is very overcast here in ABQ.. and frankly, it looks like it may snow. I am not ready for winter. I want my fall back. I admit... I have been feeling quite behind and melancholy of late. ...too much to do, not enough time to do it in... not enough ambition either way....

I have been trying to force myself into happiness... but it's not working today. Short of an infusion of super strength prozac... not sure what would work. My kids are growing up and moving out. It is that time. The time I thought would never really get here. And now I am worried. Did I teach them enough > Did I love them enough> did I show them how wonderful the world is without making them naive to the badness of life... And the big question... what will I do without them around. The boy has a job, a girlfriend, is in college part-time and is saving up to move out. The girl, although a year younger.. already has plans in motion to be on her own come spring. Full time college, and making her way in the art world.

The hubby and I are fixing up the house in an effort to sell... and move. But where?

We are trying to pay off all of our debt.

We are downsizing and organizing.

It's like we are on the brink.. but who knows for what.. or where.. or when.

And for today -- it just seems to be an almighty effort just to get the garbage collected and to the curb. Some days are like that.

I will make coffee.

Photos for today's post are from a gorgeous Buddhist shrine that is literally in the middle of what used to be Indian land, now part of Petroglyph park. It seems so out of place, and yet, so perfect. I took these photos as the sun was coming up on the mesa.....