Thursday, December 4, 2014

12-4-14


well, the sun is shining a bit here up on the hill... and the skies are as blue as can be.
I however, am down for the count (as they say).... with a back injury.
Tomorrow morning I have an appointment; so we'll see what's going on... but it's been bad for over a week now; and this AM I could hardly put any pressure at all on my right leg to walk.
I've hurt it before like this... and it just takes time.
Time and rest.
Neither of which I have in great commodity at the moment.... but that seems to be how things go.

I find it interesting that it is in some of these busiest times, that the body will "force you" to slow down... and perhaps that is the case here as well. And I guess it doesn't matter the cause... the result is the same.

Christmas is not one of my favorite holidays.
I don't think it stems from anything in particular; but I get very frustrated with the commercialism, the endless sales announcements, the obligations to go here ... or there, the frenzy of finding (or making) the right gift for all those on your list, sending cards, making cookies.... I just have difficulty with it all. Now, I am not a scrooge.... I love giving people things and doing nice things for folks... I just feel like it should be done all year long.... and not because it's some arbitrary day on a calender that you have to do something.
And so, when I hurt my back just over a week ago... my first (and 2nd and 3rd) thought was not to go to a doctor; but to keep working on things I had to do... things I was expected to do... things I was behind on... that endless list of stuff that needs to get done... and now, I can't do any of it.
And it's all my fault.
My fault for not going to the doctor sooner.
My fault for being behind on so many things that I feel like  can't take time out.
My fault that I am here, in a chair... and can't even get out of the chair without help.
It's obviously time for a change... or perhaps even... for many things to change.

I think my point here in telling you all this... is not to focus on my back woes and "poor me poor me"... but to tell you...
Give yourself a break.
Make time for the things you need to do to take care of yourself.
Don't get caught up in someone else's expectations and completely disregard your own needs.
Cut yourself... and others around you ... some slack... the holidays can be a rough time for some;
and you never know what the other person may be dealing with.
Thank you ... and I'll see you tomorrow.