Thursday, January 1, 2015


"everybody's got to learn sometime..." music by Beck.

The past few days have been oddly blurred... culminating in an extremely weird day yesterday; and a movie marathon that has me introspective.

I was pushing hard these past few days to get all unfinished projects done... mostly things I had offered to do for folks that ended up on the back burner. And I've gotten most everything done... which is awesome. I also had some conversations with family and friends... most of which were quite unexpected... and revealing in many ways.
And in the midst of all that... was the rush of the holidays... which brought a melancholy and deep sadness;
and then the realization that I had essentially made similar choices to a series of events I lived through in the 70s...
It's been sort of a rather uncomfortable deja vu.

And then, the realization that in many ways... the person I have betrayed the most.... is me.
I won't go into details... it's sort of boring and sordid all at the same time... but suffice it to say;
that my movie marathon last night rather clarified things for me a bit.

So... what was on tap?
First, I watched Maleficent. Wow. Visually stunning... and an epic re-telling of a familiar tale with a rather interesting twist.
And yes, I believe in this case, the movie-maker powers that be got it right.
Explaining that true love, was in fact... forgiving oneself, and those who potentially have hurt you the most...
and releasing and letting it go... in order to save everything.

From there.... it was Exit through the Gift Shop. I've actually seen this before, but it was several years ago... and I had actually forgotten some key moments. What I took away from it last night, however...
is that sometimes the world is a fickle and strange bedfellow. It doesn't always make sense.
And yet, if you are truly passionate about something... it makes the crazy merry-go-round worth it all.

And thirdly, yet... no less important... was the final movie I watched: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I've seen bits and pieces of this movie before... and yet, never truly "got" the whole picture... or perhaps, I just wasn't ready to get the message.
It's a pretty amazing movie.
My take-away? That yes, we all make mistakes... some are bigger than others... but what's important is that we keep trying. And that perhaps... the bravest of all... is when we try... knowing we may just keep repeating the same mistakes... and having the same failures... but still do it... for that one shining moment.

"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot? The world forgetting by the world forgot. 
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Each pray'r accepted and each wish resign'd." 

And so... dear ones... I leave you with this thought...
What is your one shining moment? That one thing that you must do?
That one love worth fighting for? That one desire that makes your heart sing and your soul dance?